Let me sum up a few of the ridiculous events of the past two weeks of my life for you right here.
Running in the gravel park should really just be off limits for someone with my ankle-twisting history, but what can I say, I like to live on the wild side. The first hit was a full stride forward face dive that ended in a couple of gravel-filled scraped up palms. Just, really unpleasant. Obviously, the kind strangers asking about the level of my injuries made me emotional and I had to run home and hide my tears. Le sigh.
The second noteworthy event involved me running in the same park. As I pass this youth, his ugly brown fox dog up ahead of him starts growling and taking a tone with me. I give him ample space, and since it seems like all dogs in Italy have the right of way to be leashless, I thought his youth owner had it under control. False. Dog lunges at me barking and growling, I swiftly evade (sidenote: it’s good to know my survival movements are less klutzy than my everyday movements). At this point, I thought I was in the clear, but no. Ugly dog makes a second attack move, I just decide to book it and run away. My anger bubbled up in both languages and the indecision paralyzed my speaking mechanisms. Do I yell at the owner in English or in Italian? Next time, I’m planning on a mix of both. This was one of two attempted dog attacks that happened to me while running. Not exaggerating.
Another day another bruise, my husband “tickled me” which really means he pushed me, and I slipped and fell face forward and acquired a knee bruise. Oh, this was the same day he tried to teach me to drive his scooter and I lost my balance and fell. His reaction? “Wow, when I taught my sister, she never fell. I’ve never fallen either.” Hold back tears, attend to hip and elbow pain, move on.
Time heals all wounds and although my palms are still healing, along with some really crappy luck this week, I also got called for a job interview teaching English! I rocked the first and second interviews and was offered the position. Don’t worry, I definitely dance/jumped around my apartment (without falling) to Sia’s Unstoppable 2 times on repeat. I’m Unstoppable! I fall down with such grace! I am powerful!
In other notable news: I had to wrangle my way through the Questura (police station), but I finally was able to obtain my residence card! Ghost citizen status no more! And if you think it ends there, HA! I still have many hoops to jump through and lines to wait in and forms to fill out. However, I’m far too exhausted by the squalor and bureaucracy I’ve had to deal with this week to tell you about the specifics of my immigration drama. Another post, another glass of wine.
Shoutout to Angela, (My Italian Mother In-Law), who hosted us for a 6 hour lunch and also gave us another 5 Liter box of red wine– so really that took care of pretty much everything else that happened this week. Peace, love, and pizza yo.
p.s. minutes before writing this post, I flipped my cast iron skillet taking a dutch baby out of the oven and captured it on instagram. Not because I was trying to take a video and look cool or anything, definitely not…..HOW DO PEOPLE TAKE INSTAGRAMS OF LIFE WHILE IT IS HAPPENING AND NOT DROP THINGS!?!
Have you ever completely flopped? It’s cultural faux pas o’clock in my house..
Read more about some of my best and worst moments: 2016: Best // Worst